Competitive team athletics, by its very nature, creates situations where everyone may not be happy all the time. Knowing when to communicate and how to connnunicate with your athlete's coach is a concern for almost every parent at some time during the season. Most often the concern is how to inquire about issues surrounding playing time.
At PCVC, we encourage the athlete to take responsibility for their participation. For this reason we expect the player to talk to the coach first when she has a problem, or if she is unclear about what the coach expects from her either in practice or in a competition. The appropriate way to do this is for the athlete to ask the coach what she needs to do to get more opportunities to play in matches. Most of the time, the player knows why they may not be playing as much as a teammate when the parent may not. Parents can best help their athlete by helping her set some goals to achieve more opportunities.
When a parent has a problem that is specific to their own athlete, we also expect them to first talk to their athlete's coach. Coaches have been instructed not to discuss "coaching decisions" with a parent. These "coaching decisions" include, but are not limited to, specific match decisions such as who played when, where, and how long. Also, who was subbed out and when, etcetera.
The coach will not be required to defend his/her thought process or conclusions in the determination of playing time, and it is improper for a parent to request that.
Specifically, the procedures to follow if you as a parent, or your athlete as a member of a PCVC team, have concerns about PCVC policies or a coach's actions are, in this order:
The athlete will speak or meet with the coach to discuss the matter If the matter remains unresolved, or if the athlete has reasonable concern that speaking to the coach will not resolve the matter,
The parent should speak to or meet with the head coach. Parents should call the head coach on the phone to set a meeting. Meetings are to be at times and locations other than tournaments. If a coach is approached by a parent during a tournament, we have instructed the coach to refuse to discuss any controversial matter, to refer the parent to the Club Director and to walk away from the situation. The recommended time for a parent and/or athlete to talk to a coach about a problem is a previously arranged meeting time either before or immediately after a scheduled practice.
If the matter remains unresolved, or if the parent has reasonable concern that speaking to the coach will not resolve the matter,
The parent may speak to the Head Coach and the Club Director. In certain situations, PCVC may ask the athlete to attend the meeting also. Meetings should be previously arranged. Meetings will not be scheduled during a tournament. The Head Coach or the Club Director will not engage in discussions about "coaching decisions."
PCVC will not tolerate hostile, aggressive confrontations between a parent and any official, or a parent and any coach, assistant coach or staff member, or a parent and any athlete, or a parent and any other parent, whether the coach, athlete or other parent is a member of PCVC or not. Violation of this policy may result in the athlete being dismissed from PCVC without refund.
It is inappropriate for an athlete or a parent to approach other PCVC members about a problem the athlete or parent is having with a PCVC coach, about objections to coaching decisions, or about disagreement with an administrative decision. Asking uninvolved people to take sides in an issue is unfair to the third party and to the Club. For the psychological health of the teams and the Club as a whole, grievances need to be handled between the parties involved and in the proper manner.
If a player of parent is approached and asked to listen to, or express an opinion about matters between two other parties in the Club, is strongly encouraged to refer the complaining party to take the matter up with either the coach in question, the Head Coach and/or the Club Director.
Any member who, as a third party, hears remarks or stories about PCVC, its employees or its policies, that cause the member to be concerned, is encouraged to contact the Head Coach and/or the Club Director immediately to determine the facts, or to alert the club administration to a situation it may be unaware of. It is detrimental to everyone involved to repeat complaints you hear or overhear to other uninvolved parties. By the time a story gets to the third or fourth party, it frequently bears little resemblance to the truth or the facts of the situation.
Please refrain from negative comments around your daughter and the other athletes. Young players are vulnerable and if they hear complaining about the coach, the coach's style or PCVC policies, this can have an adverse effect on their performance and/or attitude. If you, as a parent, are unhappy about something, you should follow the grievance procedure of this guide to resolve the matter.
Repetitive complaining to the athlete(s) or other third parties that interferes with the Club's efforts to pursue its stated mission and purpose may be cause, in the sole determination of the Club, to ask a member to resign.